Wednesday, December 23, 2009

25GoC: Donna from Bites

Nothing. Is. Ever. Enough. Ever.
By: Donna from

It really sucks being a Guido at Christmas because, let's face it, we all suffer from 'IT'S NOT ENOUGH!"-aholicism.  Nothing.  Is.  Ever.  Enough.  Ever.  So what if there are 25 dozen cookies on the plate?  IT'S NOT ENOUGH!  You've spent $1,000 on Christmas gifts already.  IT'S NOT ENOUGH!  At this rate my ass is going to spread beyond a viable pants size and I'm not going to have enough money to even consider the thought of exercising.  Great.  There's another thing rearing it's ugly head: Italian optimism.
I go through this every year.  Last year I brought a box, literally A BOX of cookies ( we're talking maybe 20 dozen cookies) into work for people to snarf.  This year I told myself I wasn't going to do the box because that was way too much.  So I crammed 15 dozen cookies onto a serving dish.  Last year I bought people more stuff than they even have room to put it, thus launching my bank account into cardiac arrest.  This year I told myself I wasn't going to do that, yet my money's still hooked up to life support and is currently in a vegetative state.
Christmas is the one time of the year where I don't look at how much and I let the Italian-ness go into overdrive.  I WANT to do things for other people.  I WANT to make them happy.  Money and waistlines be damned.  It's also a time where I actually don't want to run other drivers off the road for their sheer stupidity.  I DON"T WANT to flip them off for cutting me off going 75.  I just want to sing Christmas music on my commute home.
Christmas is a time where you're either the type of person that goes into giving overdrive or you drive yourself to the opposite end of evolution and turn into a feral pig that would sooner gnaw its own foot off than let someone else have the last $20 Magnapox DVD player on the shelf at 4 AM the day after Thanksgiving.  Christmas is SUPPOSED to be a time for giving, for IT'S NOT ENOUGH.  Really, it's ok.  And so is the guilt of maybe giving a little too much.  You'll earn the money back and maybe next year you'll learn not to charge everything and only spend money you actually have.  At Christmas, it isn't ever enough because there are so many people in need that it's nearly impossible for it to actually be enough.  You can never give enough.
But you can go psychotic enough in your pilgrimage to give enough by turning into Cujo on the person behind you in line.  Remember - Christmas = happy times.  Giving times.  Pleasant times.  Next year do your shopping on line in November to avoid all those unwanted Rabies shots.  Take an extra helping or egg nog or Triptaphan-laden turkey to reduce those instances of vein-bursting rage while out in public.  It's not about you at Christmas.  It's not about everyone else.  And if you really think that special person would tell you to kiss their ass if you didn't get them that special ass-crack of dawn sale item, you either don't know that person very well or you need some new friends.  Is an extra $20 really worth all the people bites?
So remember, IT'S NOT ENOUGH.  It never is.  But if you need a hand truck to carry the cookie tray, perhaps you've outdone yourself.  If a personal loan comes into play, you've definitely overspent.  You can't help everyone, you can't be everything to everybody, and you are not Super(enter gender here).  Giving what you can is more than what anyone can ask for and more than what anyone expected.  And you'll be loved for it all the same.  Gauging yourself is also a nifty way to reduce blood pressure and have money left over for those pesky bills.  Just remember that.
Bites - Chomping on books and spitting out reviews

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